Bonita's Thoughts
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Baby Do Me
Soft music playing on the radioHe lifts me up in the middle of the floorPulling my body down to meet his waistHe sucks my bosom, since it's in his faceI scream, I cum, I tremor, until my legs get limberKnowing that I wanted much more of what ever he had instore.Baby please do me, give your loving to me like you did before.Hey lay me down onto the loveseatAround my neck you will find my feetBodies pounding, moving in and outGrunting, sounding until he releases a shoutHe pumping fast as he's gripping my asswhile telling me how good he feelsThrough out the night I hope this moment lastBecause he givin me such a thrillThat's right honey, give your body to meYou make scream, as you release your precious cream.I love the way you do you thing, that's right honey Do me..... 010106 Buy Cheap Viagra
Being MeForgive me if I mislead youI wasn't trying to turn you onI am aware of my sexual energythat's just the way I was bornI might appear to be flirtingbut don't take it to the extremeI'm only expressing what's on my mindand my feelings towards certain thingsI'm aware of my sexual innuendos and mostof the experiences that I've partake;I have no need to lie about my pastor be pretentious or a fakeI never promise anyone anythingother then a gathering of close friendsI'll never say that I'm going to do youor any other man.I can understand how I'm being misinterpretbut I love ONE MAN so please don't forget it102905 Bonita Jacobs Buy Cheap Viagra
Do you feel that the dead thinks about thosepeople that they leave behindDo you think they miss you or do you neveror hardly cross their mindSometimes I wonder if they remember melike I was back then or wonder about my current lifeMost of my memories of them diedSo do you think she remember me?Do you think he miss me?I always wondered what happen to peopleafter their life expiredDo they get to keep their memoriesof love ones they left behinddo you believe they watches you gothrough your everyday routinedo they guide you in directing youto paths that are hard to findSometimes when I cry for her I feela surge of comfort come over meAs if they were in the room with meI think she still loves meI think he still remember's meEven though they died, they never leavethey will always be a part of you........Bonita 100705 Buy Cheap Viagra
Setting My Heart Free
You've been on my mind,every since our last phone call;I've been hiding from you,because I was afraid to fall.I think about you constantly,since I'm not ready to set my heart free.You want to take it further,But I'm not ready to let go;I don't want to make big steps, sowhy can't we just take it slow.I've been hurt so many times beforeso I'm afraid to open up, then your walking out the door.So many men have came in and out of my life,Some even wanted me as their wife;A few times I was tempted to get it a try,But they were not faithful so I had to say goodbye;So I was left alone to cry, because I can't deal with lies.So if you're serious, I am willing to stick by you,My heart is not a game to be played by a fool;I'm looking for love one on one,So if you are willing we can have some fun.Bonita Jacobs 091805 Buy Cheap Viagra
Have you ever wondered why people flock to you?Have you ever stop to think what was their view?Have you ever thought to ask them their opinionof what their true feeling were of you?Some people tend to cling for the wrong reasonsSome people tend to misconceive you tooSome people tend to hang around for one seasonSome people never get to know the real you.Have you ever thought they saw something that you do not seeHave you ever thought it was something you tried to hideHave you ever thought it was beautiful and evolvingor was it dramatic enough for you to push aside.Some people claim to see you inner feelingby looking directly into your eyesSome people can tell if you are sufferingeven though you smile to cover your lies. ........091005 Buy Cheap Viagra
Smoke Gets In Your Eyes
Last night I made love to my husband, even though there was nothing unusual about us making love this time it was totally special. A song came on the radio "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes" if you have never truly listen to this song you should. It leaves me in tears everytime I hear it. Mik held me in his arms assuring me that everything is okay, I can stop crying now. Is it that easy? Sometimes I dwell on the past eventhough the present is more stable. Sometimes old habits are hard to break. But hopefully I can stop crying like Malik said. There will be no more smoke cloudy my missions in life.......Bonita Buy Cheap Viagra
Putting Down My Pen
Today my mother in-law found out that I write erotic poetry....smut was her choice word. which set be back a bit because poetry is my venue and I can tell that she does not support me as a poet. So how am I going to handle this situation.....You know me at first I was ready to put down my pen and stop writing.....well that didn't last too long and hopefully it won't work because I live to create. I could only imagine what Mimi is saying to Malik about my poetry.....Malik is my husband and if he dislike my genre I will give it up....I won't be happy about it but I am willing to change for him................Bonita Buy Cheap Viagra
Bonita's Thoughts
There is no theological reason why I must cling to youI should not have these desires but I doI can not control my thoughtsI could not deny the fact that I have a ting for youAs I live & breathe and witness your every moodI dare not retain my thoughtsI sigh whenever you are near, even though youhave not noticed that I am here, there is no rejectionto my reflection since there is no recollection of my intentionsI can not explain my thoughtsI stare at you in amazement, memorizing your walk, your talk that voice and the way you articulate your wordsI dare not complain of my thoughtsI dreamt that I shared your space, breathe your air and tasted your sweat. Yet it is only a dream. The mere of your skin resting against mine, makes me break out in a sweat, makes my kitty wet but it will do my body just fine.I will not remove my thoughtsAll I have now is my dreams, collective memories to mesmerize in. I fantasize of our union, an event so far fetched yet attainableI will not reframed from my thoughts 090105 Buy Cheap Viagra
Us Women
There comes a time in every woman's life when she has to take a close look at herself.Not at her circumstance, not at what she did, not how unfairlife is, or not at whom made you do it. She has to just look atherself in all her glory and imperfection. Have you ever admireda woman who has been through changes in her life? Or have you made up in your mind that she is just messed up. Before you make this mistake, take a closer look. A woman who has endured the most unusual life is someoneof wisdom, someone who has been chosen by God to go throughthings that have made her stronger. Think of all the greatwomen in the Bible: MaryMagdalene, Ruth and Naomi, the woman with an issue of blood flow, andEsther, to name a few. Mary was a prostitute, a very uneasy woman. But by the time Jesus was done with her,she was His closest follower. Esther was unfortunate in marrying an abusive man, but by the time God wasdone with her, she had married one of the wealthiest men in theland. Women are so quick to beat the next one down instead oftrying to hold her up. Before you wonder,"What's up with her?" ask yourself, "What's up with me?" That woman could be my mother, sister, aunt, in-law, stepmother, niece, grandmother, great-grandmother, neighbor, friend, or co-worker, etc. That woman could be me. Women are the carriers of life, not the channels of death. Let's build and encourage each other, as did Ruth and Naomi.Encourage and Love, Forgive and Forget, and Trus that the woman that receives this will be touched in some way. May peace and love be onto you....... Buy Cheap Viagra
Greed
I must ConfessOne night I lay across my bedthen an image of you crossed my headBut you know that I have a manso what might me think of youThat's a though I could never understandYet I laid their in fantasized about youI imagine your strong handstracing the contours of my bodyas I reached out to grasp your touchForgetting that you were not in reachwhich left me wanting, you more, your lustEven though my man is all that I needI beg to one day get lost in your realmsAnd to think some people may see it as greedMy lust for you continues to overwhelms,The pure pleasure that I give myself from one thought of youI mound my soul as I reach deeper to cover myself in dewI should feel guilty but I do not because desire has taken center stageSo all I am asking of you my dear is to give me that chance to assuage.....B Buy Cheap Viagra
Lo
All my life I have been confused of your existenceTo the point where I had deep embedded scarsNow that I recalled my true mother brilliance I feel the need to know more about herYou made me feel like a motherless childTreating me as if I was a bad omenAll because I was Papa's bastard child to youWith out me ever knowingNow that I am a mother, I have rekindled that painYet the mere thought of treating my childrenthey way you did me, would be totally insaneI have never intentionally hurt you yet youcontinue to say vicious things; Trying to bring medown to your level whenever you get into your mood swings.So why call me if you have problems being hospitable.I have learned to shelter you out of my life because I really don't need you Lo Buy Cheap Viagra
Hunted By Many Tamed By One
I was hunted by many and tamed by oneSay whatever you want to say because ithas already been done.Don't pretend that you are capable ofsweeping me off my feet because I'vealready been swept.Don't claim to have the sweetest meatbecause my needs are being metSo just do me a favor and keep on movingbecause I love my BooCause I don't need no more interruptionsfrom them nor youMy man loves me and I got his backThere's nothing here to ponder, it's a well known factI might talk shit on any given nightBut this here is all his and he knows that's right.So I don't care if your cock is as long as Californiaor as short as MaineThere's only one man that I want to end my nights withbecause he got me tamed................082105 Buy Cheap Viagra
Come Home Niala
Tonight I'm sitting here waiting patiently for youThere is no hesitating because your time is dueCome HomeNiala I'm calling youCome HomeYour Daddy's is growing so impatient,your big Brother just can't waitYou have Aunts & Uncles going crazyawaiting your homecoming dateCome HomeNiala we love you soCome HomeWe're ready to watch you growWe painted your room lavenderand Daddy built you a cribNow we are ready for your arrivalTo give you all the love two parents can giveCome HomeNiala,Come Home081605 Buy Cheap Viagra
Could You Imagine........
Could you imagine your death, without family or friends,No one around to see you off, ,just the memories of days back thenCould you imagine not being loved, yet living a long sad lifeIt's sort of like, you haven't lived life at all, can you imagine the lonely nightsCan you imagine facilitating your most articulate speech yet no one understands a wordCan you imagine feeling depressed and the ignorant thinks it's absurd.Can you imagine satisfying your greed, when others go hungryHow can one say that they are rich, while others live poorlyCould you imagine writing a blog that no one ever readsCould you imagine thinking of a fabulous idea, yet no one else agreesCould you imagine crying for help, yet no one sees your tears;Could you imagine acting brave, yet living your life in fear.Could you imagine being gifted, but you lost the ability to create;Could you imagine keeping precise time yet always showing up late.I guess we all are human, so we tend to experience some of these things;But then again can you imagine sleeping every night and not being able to dream. 081205 Buy Cheap Viagra
Untitled
I got something to share with youBefore you hear rumors thataren’t true, about some things thatI have done or do. I want to share these before you hear what other’s say.I have not always been a good gurlI can say that I have traveled the worldI know exactly well, how to use my pearlsand I use it well every day.I have not always been on the right trackI drank a lot, I smoked weed but I never did crackHad my share of men and don’t want them backI’m sexually curious but I’ll be damn if I am gay.At this time, I am so into youBecause of the things, you put my body thruIf I had to chance to make my dreams come trueIf I asked to do you, what would you say?080605 Buy Cheap Viagra
If I Shall Die Tonight
Last night Luna & I was watching Six Feet Under and to both of our surprise Nat died other having brain surgery (talk about bad timing) well we both cried because last night episode was the saddest funeral I have ever witness.I never told anyone but a few weeks ago while I was in the hospital I dreamt of my death. It was confusing because we were near a sandy road and I was with Niala and Rodrigo. She was a beautiful little girl and Roddie was handsome as always. I don't recall Malik being there but I saw myself in a casket it was like an outer body experience. I always wondered was there any merit to that dream. Wouldn't it be odd if we as immortal souls knew exactly how we were going to exit life? When I fainted after Julio's death Vonita appeared in my dreams I asked her was I dead and she answered no honey, I asked her was the baby okay and she said "Don't worry about a thing you are going to have a beautiful little girl, Niala is fine" I woke up crying because I believed my mother, every since I've seen her photo of her teaching her class, that face has appeared in my most worrisome dreams. Today I pray for Luna, becaue she is going under a knife, the tumor is benign so it's time to remove it. She keeps thinking that she's not going to live thru this and she even had the nerve to discuss the welfare of her children with me. That's a heavy task but for her I would never question it because she like a Sister to me and I love her............................Bo Buy Cheap Viagra
Thalia, Thalia, Thalia
Today Luna told me that I was attractive to exotic looking women. Well she may have a point there because I have a thing for Shakira, Luna, Claudia and everyone that knows me knows exactly how I feel about Thalia. She's a beautiful sister, her family is from India but she's american born. She follows here heritage but she's a typical american freak. She's a teaser too, mean from India mistake her for a bollywood actress Nanyah Nair. and Thalia knows she's not Nanya but she signs autographs anyway.................That's Thalia Sagal in the photo...........If I shall ever place my lips on another woman it would be her..................Bo Buy Cheap Viagra
Hey You Get Of My Mountain
Hey you, get off my mountain,Hey you get off my cloud, Hey you get off my mountain,Your just trying to bring me down...........The DramaticsThis morning while I was talking on the phone with my sister I could not help but overhear my nemesis in the background. She was saying words that cut thru my heart like a machete. Some people try like hell to get undermy skin but I manage to shield them off. But then their are others that can slip right thru with ease causing havoc in my peacfull little world. Lolita is the latter of the two....today she accused me of being like my "putee a madre de asno". Stealing a good man from his wife. That bitch gives me the blues but I have no memory of my mother. I was only three years old when she passed so I don't know anything of her personality. I will admit that when I met Malik we were both married but I never thew myself at him. All we did was talk, we talked about everything and anything that two mature adults would talk about.....During the ten years of his seperation from Linda, my divorce, then finally his divorce there was no sexual activities going on between us too. So how does that make me a whore, plus who is she to say that Vonita was a whore. Papa Sergio was not a happy man, maybe my Mother put a smile on his face. Years ago when I was about to marry Julio Papa told me that "True love only comes once and it may not come at the right time but you will know when you are really in love and it's up to you to do something about it" At that time I did not fully grasp his meaning but I asked Papa was he in love and he smiled at me and answered "I was in love once long ago and she was as beautiful as you mi Bonita, she had a smile as pretty as yours and she captured my heart" I asked Papa what happened to her and again he answered "I was a married man, it could not have lasted long." I felt sad for Papa Sergio because he was not in love, and I could tell that he was not happy...The day I met Malik , I knew exactly what Papa was trying to tell me.That was the day I fell in love and even though I was married to Julio I was not happy, so all I had to do was wait............Bo Buy Cheap Viagra
Don't Fuck With My Gurl
Today I got word that some chics on the internet is hating on one of my gurls. Well of course my hot ass got on her defense team real fast and I was ready to curse a few of those phoney ass wannabe's out. But I was like nawh somebody is going to slip up in a few days then say some stupid ass shit. Then they will finally meet the real Bonita, Not Bonita Jacobs, but Bonita Cortez that bitch that would kick ass if you said the wrong words to me. Don't fuck with my peeps that's all I have to say. They pretend to like me but tell everyone else a bunch of stupid ass shit that doesn't add up, get a fuckin life because mines will go on. So If you don't like me let me know, and I will stand clear of your ass.......Bo Buy Cheap Viagra
Loving My Sisters
Cecilia is the same age that I am wish is weird because we are not twins, not at all. But today she calls me to tell me that I was on her mind all last night. She dreamt that I was having complications with Niala's arrival. I assured her that all is well even though Niala has really been showing off the past 24 hours. I am in pain now and it was discomforting at work today and it hasn't stop yet. But anyway Cecilia called me and that made my day. Why? because we really don't talk at all and she took the time to call me and say hey "Sis whats up? I felt good afterwards. We did not argue, no negativity was released either. I was loving my Sisters today. We even did a 3 way call with Carmen too. Carmen is my big sister, she always got my back but now Cecilia is becoming a real Sister to me...and that made me feel good................Bo Buy Cheap Viagra
Searching for an exitThere's something uncomfortable about tunnels Some days I drive thru them and all is well.But on days when I am distracted by dramaand up to my nose in other people bullshit tunnels have a way of never ending. I am trying so hard to be drama free but people are throwing tainted darts at me and expect for me to smile at them in return,I see tunnels as a metaphor for my problems as if there was no ending to this bullshit. Like I'm running thru this tunnel sweating excessively because I can't find an exit to my troubles. Like drama the thought of an never ending tunnel can drive a sister batty. One night while I was driving home thrue the tunnel I broke out in a sweat, I was having a freaked out panic attack because the tunnel was taking too long to end, plus I was gunning on 55 in a 45 mph lane. Trying hard to find my exit and relieve my self of my problems...until the next time...... Buy Cheap Viagra
She Tease
She teaseYet she hide behind words,making you read between linesto get on the same page that she's onShe tease,Yet she crave to touch and be touched by you.Waiting for you to reach into the depths of her soulLooking, searching for a connection.Yet she tease,hiding behind sexual innuendos and sensuous wordsmaking you want to know what she's all about.Thinking, dreaming, creaming to be a part of her worldStill she tease.............this is another one for youBonita Helena Jacobs 072505 Buy Cheap Viagra
Forgive Me Father
If I was to make a listof all the bad things I didWould God forgive mebecause of the way I livedDear Merciful God forgiveme for I have sinned;If I knew what I know nowI would not have done what I did back then.One thousand Hail Mary'sWould not have saved my soul;As long as I embraced the thingsthat I should let go.Like God's love rein on me,There has to be a better way;Now that I'm older now I feelrelieved when I pray.In the name of Jesus, son of our merciful Godforgive me for I have sinned;And if I can repent I will never take that path again.Bonita H. Jacobs 072505 Buy Cheap Viagra
Lost Souls
I lost another friend today;It surprised me when I heard death past her way.We all thought she was doing well;But now we know that you can't really tell.For many months she complained of many thingsYet know one seem to recognize her pain or screams.She keep most of it too herself, even though she could not handle the cards she was dealt.She let her inner demons take control;Until she came to realize they stole her soul.She start believing there was nothing left;To everyone surprise she shot herself to death.Rest In Peace Claudia Sampson..................Bonita 072305 Buy Cheap Viagra
He Needs To Be Loved
Sometimes I look at him and can'tbelieve that he is my child;Some days I think he don't need meand he can raise himself.I remember years back when he yelled that he hated meI understood that it was anger but still those words hurt me.I provided for him everyday, regardless what some people sayFed him, clothe him and taught him well;yet something was still missing and I could tell.Because he needs to be loved and I need him to love me,I went through all sorts of crazy things to keep a roof over our head;And on some occasions, I did not make it home to see him to bed.Then Julio only helped me when ever I had to force him too.As long as I was sexing him the money flow continued.I know that it made me look like a whore,but at the time I didn't give a damn anymore,I had a son that needed me.I was always there for Roddie,Because he needs to be loved and I need him to love me,Sometimes we can go days with out a single word to sayBut deep down inside I know that he loves meI tried not to hide our divided wall,I want him to know that I will give him my all.When I'm alone I sit and cry because I think that I failed himThen he comes home and join me by my side and said what you doin.He kisses me on my cheek and say Mom you are so beautifulI turn my head to wipe the tears from my eyes because I don't want him to know.Because he needs to be loved and I need him to love me.............072105 Buy Cheap Viagra